THE Guide: How to Get a Girl!

I know this guide is pretty long, but realize,

whole books have been written with much less use

than the words you're about to read here.

There's a process to everything, from sailing a boat to getting a girl. You can mix some things up, but if you don't do certain things, YOU WILL NOT GET ANYWHERE. Ex. You're not going to get out of the harbor if you don't lift up your anchor!

Before we get started realize point #1 you are not the enemy. You are not a pen salesmen at the doorstep (selling something nobody wants to buy). You are a guy, and GIRLS LIKE GUYS... (even lesbians have guy friends.. a lot of them anyways). Girls don't just get dressed up because it makes them feel good, (although thats part of it) they do it also to attract a guy!

Please, don't go thinking that you need a Ferari and "Bling" to get the girl you want. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, SO IS HOW COOL YOU ARE.

When you meet someone, their impression of you is based mostly on your appearance, body-language, and your style of speaking. What you actually say doesn't really matter as much!

Note: don't worry too much about your natural looks, it's hard to change those, if you're naturally unappealing to the average girl, it just means you have to sort through a lot of girls to find one that digs your type... (and have no fear, I've seen a hot girl like nothing more than geeky short guys.. your type is out there, just keep looking.)

So what should you do?

Dress well, if you don't know how, I'd recommend asking a female friend of yours for advice or go shopping with them. If you have no female friends, look around for guys that have attractive girls with them wearing something you wouldn't mind wearing. Your #1 option however if you can muster up the guts, go to a mall and ask a random girl (or even 2 girls together) if they could help you with some advice on stylish clothing. (This means that even if you're dressed poorly.. they'll understand your situation even more.) If you look like you're genuinely asking for help, people aren't likely to reject the request. Yes, this probably includes buying new shoes! I'd rec. even getting some cologne (you're welcome to ask a female advice on this too, aqua di gio and a couple others are good)... Old Spice Deodorant is amazing as well. Buy some breath mints while you're at it!

(Remember, meeting a girl should be more than just an auditory experience, you want to appeal to her eyes, her nose (cologne/deodorant/breath mint), her skin (explained below),

Be clean! Your hair shouldn't be ultra oily unwashed, get your hair cut (if there's a female barber, ask for her recommendation of a hairstyle that would make you look good.) If you have a uni-brow or mad back hair, I rec. you trim that too! Shave, unless some girl has professed how irresistible that weird looking beard/mustache is. Trim your damn tiger claw fingernails with gunk underneath them! Clean your room and your car. If you're serious about getting a girl, she will eventually see more of you than that one matching outfit of yours. Brush your teeth, yellow should be nowhere to be found. (note: the reason why I recommend you ask girls their advice so much on the above topics is because they're your target audience right?)

Congratulations, if you've done this much,

you've probably gotten rid of the obvious reasons why

she shouldn't give you a chance...

now we'll go on to

give her reasons why she should.

Body language shouldn't be too aggressive. When you walk up to a girl come at an angle, its usually best not to come from directly in front of her or behind her. You're not trying to scare her away or anything like that so don't stand completely in front of her, instead, with your body at a bit of an angle facing her, if she adjusts then that's fine. EYE CONTACT is important, you can glance at her body, but do anything more than that when you're in front of her and you deserve to get rejected. Use your hands while you're talking, (but not too much) Practice using your hands while your talking to friends while illustrating a point, it's less awkward and show you're interested in what you're saying. When you're sitting down with a girl, lean slightly forward and nod your head occasionally when she's talking (it shows you're interested in what she's saying as well as actively listening). (note: you can tell a lot about what people are interested in by their feet placement. If they're standing up and their feet are pointing a direction other than you, they are either still defensive, a little hesitant, or looking at something else. If they're pointing towards you, she's probably interested, the same rules apply for sitting, if she's leaning towards you and feet pointing towards you, that's good.)

Another part of body language is touch. I think this is part of the reason nice guys end up being "like a brother" to girls, because they keep their hands to themselves or touch "like a brother" (outside of West Virginia) would. If you want a girl, your first encounter is an introduction of what is to come. Thus, I'm not saying try to jump to the grand finale, or even try to kiss her, but it IS important that your hands still at least suggest more-than-a-friend thoughts. How do you do this without creeping/freaking/bothering the girl? Your touch should always be gentle and your acceptable places of touch in most public settings: Hands, shoulders, arms, waist, back, back of the neck, hair, (possibly) the side of the face. When do you touch in these acceptable areas? It will basically be one of two general occasions... when you say something important (and you touch for emphasis) or funny (and you touch for connection: you're both laughing at the same thing.) Another good one is balance, whether you're about to fall over laughing, excitement, or dizziness. note: I'd probably say the two best spots for 1st meeting touch are the waist/just above the waist on her back, and hands (for any other situation besides a handshake).

Example: Hey let's go over here and check out xxxxx," You can either take her hand to lead her, touch her shoulder (as if to turn her towards the right direction) or if you've already exchanged names and talked for a little you could probably get away with putting your hand on the small of her back, just above the waist to turn her to the right direction. If you're really chill already, you could put your arm on her shoulder and walk with her.

Example: "I've got a secret.. xxxxx" As you say this, you gently touch her shoulder and move your hand to her back as she moves closer to hear it. FLIRTING IS KEY so it's probably even better that your secret is something as non-secretive as "I'm bored with this place, lets go over here" or "I think you're pretty cute, how come I haven't seen you around?" or something else that makes her laugh. You want to put her at ease and sometimes pretending to be serious for a second then joking can do that well (if you're not awkward about it.)

Example: "Would you like to dance?" The physical touch before you dance will tell you how well the dancing will go before you even start. Offer to lead her to a good dancing location on the floor with your hand or arm.

Joke Example: "and then he said, that is my house!" punchline, haahahaa you laugh with her and put your hand gently the upper arm just above the elbow like you're going to fall over laughing, or touching the shoulder. Note: subtlety is key in the touch until she feels she can physically trust you. The less she consciously notices it, the less awkward. Your goal is to have her as comfortable with you as possible.

That should give you a pretty good handle on

body language for the first meeting.. But how do you choose WHO you should meet?

Check out this video, and especially pay attention to the different types of eye contact you get from different types of people (who have diff. levels of interest)... after a simple "hello" you can usually get a good idea as to whether you should continue talking to the person.

This is a little extra if your connection w/ the girl

is going really well (can be used for 2nd date too)

If she's leaning forward more than the 'usual interesting story lean' I've taught you to do, there's a good chance she might be interested in kissing you. If she's nodding her head slower, eyes wider, you should probably stop talking and lean forward too, your eyes staring into hers. If she keeps moving forward, it's game on, close your eyes and enjoy the moment. I highly rec. you putting your arm around her waist or back at some point in this, never EVER pull her head closer in while you're kissing, it'll be too much pressure, running your fingers through her hair is fair game as long as you don't weird her out doing it. Note: I believe at least on the second date w/ a girl you like you should kiss. It's been done on the first date, but if you want to date her, that mission needs to be completed before you see her a third time or she'll think you don't want to kiss her and fall into the endless abyss that IS the friend zone. No, you're not doomed if you've waited till the 3rd date, but you're flirting with it.

If it's going well so far (even if you haven't kissed,) it's probably a good idea to ask for a phone number. If you're asking midway through the meeting and way before you have to leave you can say something like: "Hey, I've had a really great time with you, and I don't want to forget to get your number before I go..." If you have a cell, take it out, punch in the numbers as she says em, and then you can call her phone right there so she has yours. This also prevents you from getting BS numbers as well as breaking any sort of phone calling awkwardness. I rec. you call her from 2-4 days after meeting her.. that means you meeting on Monday, Wednesday is a pretty good time to call. It shows you're not desperate to talk, but haven't forgotten all about her. If you kissed, I'd probably call her the next day, you've learned enough about her lips, what's her personality like? I'd recommend after a conversation lasting over 20 minutes you plan to meet her in person again, usually doesn't matter where, public place or her house probably more safe feeling to her unless she's really comfortable with you already. (On the phone you talk more about what she's like, her likes, dislikes, pet peeves, even preferences on sexual experiences if it gets to that.

Style of Speaking is important because it displays a lot of information. How you talk says your level of confidence, whether you're playful or serious, interesting or boring, genuine or full of it. Generally it's good to change your pace, tone, and volume throughout the conversation. This is your introduction to a very exciting and interesting story/person... you'd expect it to have a full contrast of pauses, whispers, and tones for emphasis and clarity. Speak clearly and talk like you actually care about what you're saying. You can practice this by reading a boring book to your friend and making it sound interesting/entertaining anyway. Another idea is recording yourself as you're talking so you can hear exactly how you sound to get more ideas on how you could improve.

What you actually say should also be playful, flirtatious, and intriguing. She's going to have a good time with you, she should enjoy what you have to say. You want to not over-compliment her, but toss in one or two compliments throughout your typical conversation about specifics such as a certain piece of clothing or something about what she says: "that's a really great point...(and then explain why.)" You want to pack some curiosity into your talk as well. Introductions should always suck the viewer in and make them want to know more of what you're about. "You'll have to find out" or "I'll tell you later" or at least putting up a little resistance before revealing certain information (that you'd say anyway) to make her say she wants to know! Will go a long way. Check out the power of curiosity ill link later to fully understand it's importance.

In order to get better at talking to girls I recommend you practice free styling. This is basically a way to think faster on your toes and coming up with things to say so you're not at a loss of words. What is free styling? (much like the Flow Writing on the section of my site, free styling is rhyming to music -usually rap music-). What's the point of this? You are forced to think quickly to the beat of a song. Technically you could do it to any song or just a music metronome, (but rapping is more fun). Being witty is a popular way to get a smile on your intended girl.

So there it is, your guide to getting girls, practice the stuff I said,

do the things I suggested you do, read more articles in the site,

and I guarantee you, at the VERY least, you'll have 10

times more success, skill, and understanding with the

confusing opposite sex.

Note for talking to girls on the internet: If you've just met her in person, and you're talking on the internet next, you probably want to move it to the phone as soon as possible. Keep aim chat or facebook to a minimum until you've met up a couple times in person. The benefit of internet talking is that while it's very impersonal, you can thus talk about things people would normally be more shy discussing. You can talk about sexual experiences, kissing etc. without getting nearly as much nervousness. Figure out what her buttons are so you can push them later. Does she like when someone whispers in her ear? Is her favorite food Chinese, so you can go out to eat at a Chinese restaurant next time? Comedy and curiosity are golden as usual, please talk about something sexually (through the course of the conversation, NOT THE WHOLE CONVERSATION) so you're not advertising the friend zone too much and hinting at what's to come.

I suggest you also check out: The Essence of "US", The Power of Curiosity, Why You're Single and pretty much everything else under the relationships section.

The site is pretty cool as a whole if you haven't noticed already :D

MOVIE RECAP

(I found this a couple weeks after I wrote this article)

Final key points: Nice guys: one of the main reasons girls are put off by you is because you can't say no. Girls want a guy with some assertiveness! THERE HAVE ALSO BEEN STUDIES THAT HAVE SHOWN SLIGHTLY DAMAGING SOMEONE'S EGO MAKES THEM MORE RECEPTIVE TO LIKING SOMEONE ELSE. This means, acting cocky and funny DOES work.

Change your strategies but don't give up! If you keep thinking about these topics, you will see change. Also: ask girl's advice! They probably have a clue what they want! (A lot of what's written here is from girls' advice)

Everyone: If you wish to have the favor of ANYONE, do 3 things:

1. Make them feel unique and special.

2. Make them feel the same, as you.

(in other words, lift them to a new playing field where only few people really connect or understand them.)

3. Peak their interest. ALWAYS have them wanting to know m---

~It's a game of mental space, always have them thinking about you more

than you're thinking about them~

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