How YOU Buy and Sell People DAILY

Look at this handsome brown haired gentlemen, 6'2'' has a decent job and a cynical sense of humor. Ladies? Any takers? We'll start the bidding at the hot blonde in the front row. Any other takers? Wait! We have a bid by the lady to the left, moderately attractive, what's that? She always keeps a 24 pack of beer in the fridge! Our blonde is Outbid! Anyone else? Yes? We have an attractive brunette who has a big screen TV, loves video games, never complains, and likes pizza: SOLD!

The trade of people sounds a little odd, but believe it or not, it happens every day. Relationships are the trade of problems and solutions. You trade the people because they come with their own sets of problems and solutions. It's up to you to find the best 'deal' for you at the 'price' you're willing to pay. At weddings you hear someone say: "she's too good for him" or "he's too good for her" they're saying: they could have gotten a better bid! Attractiveness is just one characteristic that adds value to one person over another.

When you read Why You're Single you'll see a list of common complaints girls have with guys, it is a list of commonly unsolved problems. Every relationship you have: you SOLVE certain problems for that person and they SOLVE some of yours. (For your best friends you solve the most problems: you listen to their complaints, you go out with them on the nights they want excitement, you bring them soup when they're sick.) Your parents have hopes of being proud, of staying close/loved/and connected with you, perhaps the reassurance that they are good parents-- their regards towards you are in relation to how many of those needs/problems are met. (Give or take the "son" or "daughter' bonus that gets you away with a lot.)

Why would girls go crazy for you if you were a rock star? and, Girl would love the rock star you because rock stars solve the problems of: the need to connect, to feel good, and to feel excited, all through the power of music. When you're that good at solving that type of problem, it's natural for the mind to wonder what OTHER types of problems this guy could solve (*cough* sexually).

Why are girls so drawn to confident guys? What's the essence of confidence? (A strong belief in your own abilities). Confidence means you're confident in your PROBLEM SOLVING abilities.

Why do some girls dislike cocky guys? Because despite the occasional humor of it: they're exaggerating-- sending an inaccurate assessment of themselves.

So J, why is problem solving so important?The vast majority of relationships hinge (and rightfully so) on the number of problems solved vs. number of problems created. The amazing boyfriend you hear about is the guy that solves most problems or solve some very important ones really well. Why do some people get dumped and replaced with other people? Because the new people either seem to be better at solving the "dumper's" problems or they actually are.

If you want to keep your significant other, do 2 things.

1. Solve way more problems than you create and make them appreciatively feel like you do.

2. Be the best guy or girl for the (problem solving) job and convince them that you are.

So what's the best way to meet new girls or guys? Through consciously or unconsciously solving their problems right from "hello."

What's some problems I can solve immediately? My friend gave me the good example: say you're in a clothing store, and a pretty girl is having a tough time deciding between two similar shirts-- one red, one blue. Something like: "You should definitely choose the blue one because it goes great with your beautiful light blue eyes" you not only instantly solve her problem of the shirts, but what do women need? (According to the great mind of Chris Rock) "Food, Water, and Compliments"

If you can make someone smile or laugh, you're solving problems. If you can connect with common interests, you're making them feel less alone. If you make them feel better about themselves, you're solving problems. If you've got a nice job or seem to have great ambitions: yup, you're solving future problems. Because women are especially conscious of the future and how well you might fit into theirs.

One thing to keep in mind:don't just turn into the person who answers all the other person's dilemmas. The solutions you get the farthest with are the nonverbal ones.Can put your arm around her and make her feel safe? Can you be there for her when her car breaks down? Can you respectfully keep him or her in line when they freak out or lose their temper at you? Do you kiss/dance well? All problems, like a checklist, that you either solve or don't.

If you want to date a person, it's important that you ask what their deal breakers are, because these are the problems that if you create them, they won't even stick around for the solution. Of course it's also beneficial to learn their values, because these are the problems you will be rewarded for the most for solving well.

What are rebound hook-ups? a quick night of reassurance that there are other guys/girls out there who can solve at least 1 problem (or take your mind off the one at hand).

What's one similarity of many millionaires? They can either solve many many people's problems or an elite few VERY well. They even delegate problems to managers and the managers solve some and delegate others to the employees. Problem-solving is everywhere, it's what we want the most and it's what we pay the most for-- all our problems to be solved... (so we can come up with new ones).

The 6 Pillars of a Relationship are the main "problems" that need to be maintained.

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