The honest truth, from Mr. Dishonest President:
My fellow Americans, I'd like to apologize for bamboozling you of the past few years. I've allowed the average working man and women to be financially sheared like sheep from big corporations. Whether it's a health insurance program that doesn't pay up, a credit card company that demands twice the money you've spent, or oil prices being jacked up through the ceiling. Their lobbyists have kindly financed a number of vacations of mine... to various... undisclosed... sunny locations. Man there were some nice wom... *cough* scenery.
The point is, this problem has gotten out of hand and I have been 'strongly encouraged' by several thousand 'Fellow Americans' to take action! Apparently, uh, I should be set afire in an... unpleasant location... so I've decided it's time to help the nation and open Shopaholics Anonymous clinics all across America! By NO MEANS am I saying spending is bad, our economy runs on the circulation of goods and materials. HowEVER, should you feel that it is foolish you're working 15 extra years when you could have retired due to 3 versions of an "Ab Crusher" three flat screen TVs, 4,387 lottery tickets, and a "costly" trip to Vegas, I have a solution for YOU! Just as I've said starving countries should stop making babies, a financially ailing country should STOP SPENDING. Your only debt should be your home, and even then you should CAREFULLY READ AND UNDERSTAND THE LOAN you're getting yourself into. You owe it to yourself, I know you love extraneous items as seen on TV but try to be rational about this issue.
In my final words, I'd like to leave you with these thoughts: Theater movies are overpriced, if you make less than 40k a year, you shouldn't eat out more times than you eat at home, and please stop hate-mailing me about places I should or should not go. I've already made a deal with the "person below" and he says it's not my time yet! That is all, God bless, and Gooodddnight.
Recommended readings Why You Choose to Get Angry, and mind TRIP