The mad scientist that lives within your stomach has just blown up the lab. Your throat tightens making it hard to catch your breath, your skin bleeds a salty mixture and suddenly you wish the world around you was a surrounding projector screen that you could just punch and rip up and kick and destroy. How could the world be so stupid? How could the world be so inefficient? How could everything and everyone on the planet have temporarily aligned, and completely allied for another 5 minutes just for the purpose of thwarting your biggest plans of grandeur, or your smallest prayers of making that shortest green light on earth?
STUPID WORLD!! The red alert flags waved by the little man behind your eyes makes it harder for you to see straight. Why is this happening to ME? WHY DO YOU HATE ME WORLD?!! And of course you're filled with all the wrong questions to really get "un-mad" but that doesn't matter much to you. If there really was something funny nearby that would knock you out of your hateful trance of rage, you'd feel like someone or something had stolen your thunder. You're a busy Godzilla! Knock down those sandcastles, get out that pent up rage. But...when you're done, realize it was a choice, and if you didn't want to get angry that was entirely possible no matter what ACTUALLY happened to piss you off. How?
Before I administer the "cure," it's important that you understand why you choose to get angry in the first place. Maybe it's a necessary feeling for your overall survival, and who am I to take away such a valuable asset? So, Why do we choose to be angry? We choose to be for two reasons. The first: because IT MAKES US FEEL ALIVE, IMPORTANT, and maybe even SMARTER or MORE EFFICIENT (as in a quicker driver) than at least one other person in this world. The second reason: because we are frustrated and ignorant. Why are we frustrated and ignorant? Because we haven't taken the time to analyze the current situation rationally. If we did, we'd see that the act of being angry is STUPID and INEFFICIENT unless you needed that rush and alive feeling. In reality anger puts your body/mind under stress, and like dehydration, just creates new problems or makes old ones more complex. Aside from the benefits of reason one, the only other benefits to anger are getting your way in very specific situations (like a restaurant) or making you seem more emotional/human like you care (which on very rare occasions is beneficial such as sometimes friends like it when you stand up for your principles even if it changes nothing in the given situation.) Is it worth it?
THE CURE: Of course you probably already know the cure, subconsciously anyway. A lot of the things I will say in this site are things you already know but haven't seen in a certain way or consciously brought to words. This specific solution comes from that little voice of competent reason you promptly tune out right before you explode (because you're enjoying the rush). For any situation, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, IF YOU TAKE 5-10 SECONDS and assess and understand the different points of view of any given situation, there's a high likelihood you'll diffuse your frustration immediately. Without the frustration of not understanding the situation, your anger is just an act.
Example 1: You're forced to get in a different lane or wait at a red light because the old lady in front of you is driving too slowly.
Realization: That old lady cares as much about you as you care about her. She doesn't CARE nor is she conscious she's making you late to work or your date. Hell, if she hasn't gotten her bifocals updated since 1980 she probably doesn't even know you're there. So you must realize, that yelling at her, pounding your fists into the horn and steering wheel do little to help the situation. Realize that many of the cars that "slow you down" are going as fast as they see safe, practical, and reasonable. You should take comfort in the fact that they're working in their own best interest in getting from A to B and have no hidden vendetta against you. So don't create one by flicking them off or scowling at them, instead just take the second to figure out the quickest/safest way to get around/past them.
Example 2: Your friend is yelling at you. Just trying to verbally punch you in the face with insult after insult.
Realization: There are only 2 reasons this person is doing that. The good news is only 1 of them is really your fault. If they repeat a phrase more than once, they're probably yelling at you because you're not listening to their demand or request for you to change a certain habit you do. If you calm down, take the 5 to 10 seconds to get out of your own thick head and hear what they have to say you can decide whether they're making a legitimate claim. If it is a legit claim say, they want you to go more places with them. Apologize and fix the problem ASAP (in this case, take them out). IF the claim is bogus, like saying you're fat when you've sworn off all food 2 years ago... ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, that doesn't mean you don't do anything, that just means your friend is confused and having a rough time with some other issue they are having trouble addressing to you directly. Gently ask questions, maybe they want their claim at "feeling alive," maybe they had a rough or stressful day, maybe their mother is sick and they can't see her until they finish their double shift at work. Asking questions will not only take them off their offensive campaign, it will often make them take the reins of their mouth back from the "mad scientist" and actually listen and realize the crap they've been flinging out of their mouth for the past 30 minutes.. Eureka we have some sort of bbrreeeeakkkthrough.
TO BE ANGRY or happy, the choice is yours.